


Protector

by aprilrcho



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprilrcho/pseuds/aprilrcho
Summary: Tzuyu is taller, stronger, and braver than Sana, but there are times when Sana is nearly overwhelmed by the urge to protect Tzuyu.
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 22
Kudos: 340





	1. Unity

Tzuyu is taller and stronger than Sana. The former is obvious, something Sana is reminded of every time she leans into Tzuyu and finds that she’s the perfect height for Sana to rest her head in the crook of the younger girl’s shoulder.

The latter Sana discovered when she tripped over her own feet during practice and crashed to the floor, twisting an ankle in the process. Jihyo ran to get a manager while the rest of the members crowded around, staring anxiously down at the Japanese girl as she clutched her rapidly swelling ankle and tried not to cry.

Unwilling to wait for a medic to come find them, Tzuyu wordlessly leaned down and swept Sana up into her arms, catching all seven girls by surprise, most of all Sana herself. She then carried the older girl, bridal-style, down three flights of stairs, across the complex, and into their dormitory, only setting her down once they reached Sana’s bedroom.

Tzuyu is braver than Sana. When fireworks erupt at awards shows, they all shriek (Momo usually claps her hands over her ears and drops to the floor, the big baby) except for Tzuyu. Tzuyu doesn’t even flinch, instead tilting her head up to gaze at the bursts of light and clapping gleefully.

When they watch scary movies, Sana sneaks over to Tzuyu, burrowing into the Taiwanese girl’s side and gripping her arm so hard it probably hurts, but Tzuyu just keeps her eyes trained on the screen and leans her head against Sana’s. And when it thunderstorms, Tzuyu lets Sana crawl into her bed, giving her a comforting squeeze every time thunder rumbles through the dorm.

Tzuyu is mature far beyond her age, serious and considerate. She’s calm, patient, and stoic nearly to the point of unfeeling, adamantly refusing to cry in public. Sana admires her poise, her determination, her quiet compassion and selflessness.

Tzuyu is all these things, but there are times when Sana is nearly overwhelmed by the urge to protect her.

For example, during their first ever photo shoot, Tzuyu, wearing that awfully revealing top the stylists had chosen for some godforsaken reason, stood in front of the camera with her arms folded apprehensively across her body. Despite her obvious discomfort, the photographers directed her into increasingly provocative positions, asking Tzuyu to bend over further, bite her lip, show more of her stomach, while Sana watched from the sidelines with clenched fists.

And there was the time Tzuyu shot the LG elevator commercial. Wrapped in a skimpy black getup, the Taiwanese girl danced alone, rolling her hips and running her hands along her exposed midriff, while the cameramen zoomed in to capture her bare thighs and hooded eyelids.

In between takes, Tzuyu would wait with anxious eyes, tugging nervously at the ends of her shorts, and Sana wanted to run to her and cover the younger girl’s body with her own, to turn around and scream that she’s fucking _sixteen_.

And then, of course, there was the flag incident.

It exploded so quickly over something so small, hitting Tzuyu with the force of decades of accumulated political tension. Already, the young Taiwanese girl was an foreigner in Korea, separated from her friends by a language barrier and her family by an ocean. But all of a sudden, she was swept into the crossfire of a massive political conflict, and she became an outsider untethered from her own country, a foreigner with no home to return to.

Sana had never seen Tzuyu so defeated. She wasn’t eating, wasn’t sleeping, and rarely left the safety of her room. Sana still can’t scrub the image of Tzuyu in that damn apology video – which only further escalated the situation – from her mind; those tired, lifeless eyes are permanently etched into Sana’s memory.

Tzuyu never talks about it, not one to dwell on the past, but the incident follows her still, coloring their activities in China. As always, Tzuyu puts on a brave face, smiling for the cameras and waving at fans, but Sana sees the way her eyes tighten and jaw clenches when their plane touches down on the runway.

Which brings Sana to today, the first day of the 2016 Mnet Asian Music Awards in Hong Kong.

For weeks, threats against Tzuyu have been swirling online, hateful plans to shout and throw eggs at her on the red carpet; they’ve all heard about it, and though Tzuyu says nothing, Sana knows the younger girl is nervous.

As they get ready for the ceremony, Sana sees Tzuyu glance at her phone, dismay momentarily clouding her delicate features before her face smooths again. Sana feels a twinge of something, equal parts sorrow for the younger girl and fury at the world for failing her once again, behind her breastbone.

Sana wants to go to her, wrap Tzuyu in her arms and shield her from it all, but then they’re being directed out of the dressing room, and she only has time to send a worried glance toward the other girl before they’re shepherded into their car.

The ride to the event is silent, a departure from their typical rowdy antics, but Sana barely notices, absorbed as she is in figuring out how to singlehandedly defend Tzuyu from any potential attacks, verbal or egg-related.

She has just settled on clinging to the taller girl like a koala when they pull up to the venue and the car door opens, the sudden onslaught of noise making all nine girls flinch.

After a brief pause to gather themselves, they file out of the vehicle, Chaeyoung leading the way with a bright smile plastered on her face. Dahyun and Momo go next, followed by Jihyo, Nayeon, and Jeongyeon. Tzuyu steps out after them, her back ramrod straight, and Mina and Sana exit last, the latter prepared to throw her body in front of Tzuyu’s to intercept a projectile if necessary.

Sana’s frantic strategizing turns out to be needless, though, because the moment they reach the red carpet, Chaeyoung slows to allow Dahyun and Momo to flank her, a step behind. Jihyo and Jeongyeon fan out wider, and Nayeon lets Tzuyu pass her before falling into step a pace behind Jeongyeon.

Mina and Sana bring up the rear as the eight of them, unspoken, form a ring around their youngest member.

While staring out at the people lining the walkway, Jihyo and Nayeon wear tense, hard expressions Sana has never seen on their faces before, as if daring anyone to make a move against Tzuyu, and Mina waves to fans without smiling. Even goofy, carefree Momo is stone-faced and serious from her place at Tzuyu’s left, walking quickly to remain between the younger girl and the wall of people fencing them in.

Observing from her place at the back of their formation, Sana realizes she’s not the only one with a drive to protect Tzuyu, and she feels a swell of pride for their little family. For her part, Tzuyu has visibly relaxed, smiling freely at the people surrounding them over the shoulders of her members-turned-bodyguards.

Sana allows herself a small smile, warmed by the sight of Tzuyu like this, comfortable and unafraid. It’s really so little to ask, Sana thinks, but in a world seemingly intent on pounding the younger girl into the ground, she’ll take what she can get.

Back in the dorm, high off their win, the girls dance around the darkened living room, a cheap disco ball on the floor splattering multicolored lights across the walls.

Sana sits on the couch, enjoying the sight of her friends so elated but still weighed down by concern for their youngest member. The girl in question, whirling around inelegantly with Dahyun and Chaeyoung, catches sight of Sana sitting alone and breaks away from the School Meal Club to flop down beside her on the couch.

“Are you okay?” Tzuyu asks, out of breath, and Sana almost laughs. Even now, Tzuyu is looking out for her, concern pooling in her wide, expressive eyes.

The now-familiar desire to protect the younger girl bubbles up inside Sana again, stronger than ever, and she reaches out to tuck a strand of long, inky black hair behind Tzuyu’s ear, nodding back at her with a soft smile on her face.

Leaning in to be heard over the thumping music, Sana admits, “I was just worried about you.”

Tzuyu frowns, her brow creasing, and shifts closer to Sana so that their shoulders brush against each other. “You don’t have to worry about me,” she says quietly, her lips curling up into a reassuring smile.

When Sana just glances away and nods, Tzuyu reaches over to grasp Sana’s hands in her own, rubbing her thumbs across the older girl’s palms in comforting circles. Sana looks up into her eyes, surprised by the uncharacteristically tender action from the reserved younger girl.

“I mean it,” Tzuyu says earnestly, dark eyes sparkling with warmth and gratitude. “Don’t worry. I’m Tzuyu.”

At that, Sana breaks into a broad grin and gives the Taiwanese girl a playful shove. Tzuyu beams back at her, satisfied at having lifted the other girl’s spirits, and Sana feels a surge of affection for their strong, brave _maknae_.

Despite not understanding how Tzuyu can be like this, how she can be so determined to brighten everyone else’s days while simultaneously shouldering her own hardships without a single complaint, Sana admires her so much for it.

Resting her head against the taller girl’s shoulder, Sana looks back at the rest of the members, still flailing wildly about the makeshift dance floor, not a trace of the elegant ‘Best Girl Group’ winners in sight.

She glances up at Tzuyu, who watches their friends’ uncoordinated antics with a fond smile. “I’m always here for you,” Sana murmurs, and Tzuyu nods against Sana’s head.

“I know,” she says, gently squeezing Sana’s hand. Then, after a pause, “You guys make it easier.”

Sitting there with Tzuyu, her head nestled in the crook of the younger girl’s shoulder and their fingers tangled together, Sana knows that, although Tzuyu is stronger, braver, more mature than she is, Sana would do anything to protect Tzuyu.

Because life has already been hard enough on Tzuyu; because Sana can’t count the number of times Tzuyu has taken care of her, wiped her tears, picked her up when she’s fallen over nothing; because Tzuyu’s priority is to make everyone around her happy, even when she’s hurting inside; because Tzuyu is so inexplicably, fundamentally _good_ , and she deserves the world.

And for the pure, simple reason that Sana loves Tzuyu, fully and deeply and far more than she should.

She loves Tzuyu’s quick, dry sense of humor. She loves Tzuyu’s voice – when she talks, when she whines, when she sings – and the way that she smells, like rose petals and jasmine.

She loves when Tzuyu tolerates her affections, letting Sana press their cheeks together with a scrunched nose and the hint of a smile. And better still, she loves the rare occasions when Tzuyu actually _reciprocates_ her affections, wrapping an arm around Sana’s waist or dropping a fleeting kiss on her forehead, leaving Sana giddy and breathless.

Most of all, Sana loves the way Tzuyu makes her feel. Before performances, when Sana is shaky with nerves, Tzuyu is always there, steady and calm, to ground her. When Sana is upset over something stupid, Tzuyu just sits with her and listens, and when Sana misses home so much she thinks might cry, Tzuyu shows up at her door with tonkatsu and rice crackers.

Tzuyu hands Sana tissues a second before tears prick at her eyes and water when she doesn’t even realize she’s thirsty. With Tzuyu, Sana feels seen and cared for and safe.

But just as she knows that she’d do whatever it takes to protect Tzuyu, Sana also knows that she’ll never tell Tzuyu any of this.

How could she?

Even if, miraculously, the younger girl felt the same way, Sana couldn’t ask her to bear the weight of another scandal. After seeing everything the Taiwanese girl has been through and swearing to herself she’d never do anything to hurt Tzuyu, how could Sana do that to her?

So even – perhaps especially – in moments like this, when Sana is wrapped up in Tzuyu, heart racing as fondness for the girl beside her threatens to overwhelm her, Sana resolves to bury the feeling, to redirect it, to do everything she can to forget the way she feels about Tzuyu.

And although it aches to stifle the emotions that flood through her, Sana will gladly swallow her feelings. She’ll deal with the pain of wanting someone so much it _hurts_ but also wanting everything for them.

Because at the end of the day, Sana would do anything to protect Tzuyu.


	2. Division

Tzuyu likes to observe people. Naturally introverted and occasionally shy, she tends to gravitate to the edge of the room. Even when she does speak up, she can’t always figure out how to express what she means, hesitating as she searches for the right words in a language still foreign to her.

So, she prefers watching people. Instead of asking prying questions, Tzuyu takes their expressions, body language, reactions, and behavior as a guide to understanding them. As a result, she often catches things she may not have noticed otherwise.

For example, Tzuyu knows that although Jihyo expresses her opinions loudly, she doesn’t always stick to them, prioritizing group agreement over her own perspective. Though she puts up a brave front, Jihyo can be self-conscious and insecure, and she’s prone to worrying about whether or not she’s doing a good job as their leader. So even though Tzuyu doesn’t always need Jihyo’s help, she tends to go to the older girl for advice first because it makes Jihyo feel like a leader.

Nayeon likes to joke around, but she might actually care the most about the rest of them, Tzuyu thinks. As the oldest, Nayeon takes a lot of responsibility for the others, and though she’d never show it, it sometimes hurts her feelings when they disrespect her. Knowing this, Tzuyu seeks comfort in Nayeon, drawing out the softer, big sister side of the typically biting older girl.

From watching Jeongyeon, Tzuyu learned that the tomboy pretends she doesn’t care about anything but is secretly very tender and sensitive, often masking her emotions with bluster. Seeing past the older girl’s gruff exterior, Tzuyu tries to be a little gentler with Jeongyeon, showing her a little extra affection.

Momo likes to play up her cluelessness, but Tzuyu’s noticed that the Japanese girl is actually quite sharp and has an uncanny knack for reading people and situations. And Mina is less quiet than she is easily overwhelmed, finding attention to be stressful and taking refuge in solitude.

Dahyun adores attention but needs time alone to recharge – sometimes when the older girl claims to be sleeping, Tzuyu knows she’s actually just taking time to herself. Meanwhile, Chaeyoung likes to act tough but can get really lonely, so Tzuyu solves two problems at once by taking Chaeyoung out for lunches and leaving Dahyun to rest in their room.

Because she spends so much time observing them, Tzuyu feels like she has a good sense of the rest of the members. With one exception.

Sana has always been a bit of a mystery to Tzuyu.

At times carefree, at times stressed, sometimes highly emotive, occasionally non-reactive – Sana eludes Tzuyu’s attempts to comprehend, to characterize, to distill her into a singular, intelligible personality type or set of traits.

Fluctuating from bubbly to demure, from absurdly clingy to completely detached, Sana swings between extremes seemingly effortlessly, and it knocks Tzuyu off balance. The older girl will go from quiet and pensive one moment to quite literally bouncing off the walls the next, leaving Tzuyu to wonder if it’s all an act or if that’s just how Sana is.

Sana confuses Tzuyu, and for that reason, Tzuyu spends more time observing Sana than she does anyone else.

And lately, Sana has been even more of a mystery than usual.

Typically gregarious, Sana has become unusually withdrawn; in public, she’s just as affectionate as always (if not more so, somehow), but in the dorm, she spends most of her time alone in her room. She pushes herself too hard in practice, she doesn’t eat enough, she sleeps too much, and her smiles, normally so easy and warm, have taken on a brittle, forced edge.

Most unusual and concerning, though, is the fact that Sana won't come near Tzuyu anymore.

Usually, Sana is almost smotheringly clingy, taking every opportunity to sprawl across Tzuyu on the couch, twine her arm through Tzuyu’s when they walk, or sneakily plant kisses on Tzuyu’s cheeks, forehead, shoulder – anywhere she can reach before Tzuyu swats her away.

But for the past few weeks, Sana has been keeping her distance. She ignores Tzuyu in common spaces, sometimes leaving rooms altogether to avoid being alone with Tzuyu. And when they’re forced to be in the same place, Sana seems to make an effort to sit as far from Tzuyu as possible, always keeping at least three people between them.

Tzuyu thinks she must have done something to upset Sana, but she has no clue what it might be. The shift was abrupt; one minute, they were cuddled up on the couch together with Sana promising to stand by Tzuyu no matter what, and the very next day, the older girl started acting like Tzuyu had some deadly, infectious disease and began steering clear of her at all costs.

Tzuyu has spent enough time – probably countless hours – observing Sana to know that the Japanese girl is rarely forthcoming with her concerns, preferring to parse through them on her own before bringing them to someone else’s attention. It’s something Tzuyu understands and even admires about Sana, this reluctance to unnecessarily weigh others down with her problems.

So, Tzuyu decides to give Sana some space, figuring the older girl will talk about it when she’s ready. In the meantime, Tzuyu can enjoy the respite from Sana’s previously-constant attentions, which, while not altogether unpleasant, were certainly unsolicited and beginning to make Tzuyu feel a little _weird_ in a way she isn’t sure how to describe.

Maybe some space will be good for both of them, she thinks.

Tzuyu was wrong on all counts, as it turns out. Sana never approached Tzuyu to talk, and in the past few months the divide between them has only widened.

Sana basically never talks to Tzuyu anymore. Every time Tzuyu tries to start a conversation, the older makes up an excuse (“I left my phone in the dorm,” “I see Dahyun waving at me,” “I forgot to eat lunch”) and flees. Once, Sana claimed she could hear Momo’s stomach rumbling through three walls and a stairwell, practically sprinting out of the living room to take snacks down to the basement.

The only times Sana actually interacts with Tzuyu are when the situation demands it, during appearances or events. When the cameras are rolling and their fans are watching, Sana acts almost normal, hugging Tzuyu from behind or teasing her as if they’re just as close as they used to be.

But as soon as they get off stage, Sana can’t seem to get away from Tzuyu fast enough, and Tzuyu can’t help but feel hurt by the rejection. Though she really should expect it by now, every time Sana drops Tzuyu’s hand as if burned the second the camera shuts off, it stings.

At a fansign a couple months ago, Sana ended up next to Tzuyu at the end of the stage. Partway through their headshot game, Sana suddenly wrapped Tzuyu in a back hug, laughing at Jeongyeon’s intense concentration as she rested her chin on Tzuyu’s shoulder. Unsure how to react, Tzuyu just let Sana slip her hands around her waist and tried to keep her heart from jumping with the hope that Sana was no longer upset with her.

When it was her turn to shoot, Tzuyu caught a glimpse of Mina staring appraisingly at Sana, whose unwavering gaze Tzuyu could feel burning into the side of her head. Mina looked almost irritated, and when Tzuyu glanced up again, she thought she saw a flash of something bordering on sympathy in the older girl’s eyes.

After Tzuyu’s shot, Sana latched onto her once more, patting her head proudly while her other arm snuck around Tzuyu’s hip. The rest of the fansign went on like that, and slowly, Tzuyu allowed herself to believe that maybe this time would be different, that Sana had forgiven her for whatever it was Tzuyu had done wrong.

But the moment they filed offstage, Sana all but shoved Tzuyu away from her, running to Momo’s side, and Tzuyu was crushed all over again, her hopes of reconciliation dashed under Sana’s fleeing footsteps.

She should’ve known better, she figured.

Since then, Sana has only become more distant, and Tzuyu can’t remember the last time she and Sana had an actual conversation. Like, one in which she talks and Sana responds and they don’t act like they haven’t known each other for the better part of a decade.

And the worst part?

The worst part is that it’s not like Sana has withdrawn from everyone. If anything, Sana has actually become _more_ affectionate with everyone else, sitting on Dahyun’s lap and trying to kiss Jeongyeon and hanging off Momo’s arm as if she’s overflowing with love and wants to give it to everyone except Tzuyu.

Tzuyu can only watch, bewildered and hurt, as Sana showers the rest of the members with adoration.

She even tried asking Momo and Mina about it, only to receive different, but equally unhelpful, responses from the two Japanese girls. When Tzuyu brought up Sana to Momo, the dancer bluntly told her that Sana seemed fine to her, then abruptly changed the subject, all while looking anywhere but Tzuyu’s face.

Mina, on the other hand, was more receptive, but cryptic. She was quick to reassure Tzuyu, telling her that she hadn’t done anything wrong, and when Tzuyu admitted that she just really missed Sana, Mina had simply sighed and pulled Tzuyu into a hug, promising that Sana would come around once she ‘figured things out.’

Tzuyu didn’t know what to make of that, but after their conversation, Mina began interacting with her a little differently, especially in front of Sana.

When Sana skirts around Tzuyu to cling onto someone on the other side of the room, Mina finds her way to Tzuyu’s side, leaning her head against Tzuyu’s shoulder. If Sana starts bombarding another member with kisses, Mina silently slides her arm through Tzuyu’s and squeezes her hand.

Tzuyu isn’t sure if Mina is trying to comfort or distract her, but she’s certain the sudden closeness is related to Sana because every time, Mina keeps her gaze trained on the other Japanese girl almost challengingly, as if daring Sana to say something about it.

Regardless, Tzuyu appreciates Mina’s effort to do… whatever it is she’s doing, and she does find the older girl’s attentions soothing, but it doesn’t quite compensate for the virtually complete withdrawal of Sana from Tzuyu’s life.

She had gotten used to having Sana around to brighten her days with her blinding smiles and often inappropriate bursts of laughter. So resistant to most displays of affection, Tzuyu tolerated, even enjoyed, when Sana would sneak up behind her to wrap her arms around Tzuyu’s waist or slip her hand into Tzuyu’s while walking side by side.

She likes Sana’s painfully unfunny jokes, her spontaneity, her meandering stories, her odd bouts of profoundness, and her peculiar, endearing mannerisms. Tzuyu likes her shamelessness, her candor, and her particular way of asking for things, of suckering people into giving her a blanket or a back rub or their last bite of meat with a pleading tone and batted eyelashes and a pout that is just so _Sana_.

She likes the way Sana used to look at her, with such attention and tenderness that it almost hurt, and the funny, pleased sound Sana makes when she stumbles her way to a realization, usually a few moments after everyone else.

All her chaos and warmth, her clumsiness and bravado, her relentless pursuit of excitement and her willingness to embarrass herself – though it all dumbfounds Tzuyu at times, throws her off and forces her to recalibrate and reevaluate her understanding of the older girl, Tzuyu likes it because it’s what makes Sana, Sana.

And now that Tzuyu doesn’t get any of it anymore, she finds that maybe she misses it, misses Sana and all her strange idiosyncrasies, more than she should.

It’s funny, in a kind of sick, twisted way, that for someone so observant, Tzuyu was completely oblivious to the way she felt – the way she feels – about Sana.

Because for all her guardedness and emotional detachment, Tzuyu let the older girl, unexpectedly and without invitation, slip past her defenses. With every stolen kiss and sly wink, Sana burrowed her way, bit by bit, into Tzuyu’s heart and took up residence there, sprawling out and getting comfortable and making it her own.

But maybe it took losing Sana, missing her so much it aches, for Tzuyu to see it. Only now, so far removed from Sana and the relationship they used to have, does Tzuyu recognize the space the older girl occupied inside her, now scattered with the lingering traces Sana left behind like an abandoned apartment.

This realization, which struck Tzuyu the day before her 18th birthday when Sana pressed her lips to Tzuyu’s forehead in front of three cameras and hundreds of fans and Tzuyu felt her heart flutter and break at the same time, neither worsens nor lessens the pain she feels about their estrangement. 

It just tells Tzuyu one thing: they can’t go on like this.

So the next day, when she sees an opportunity to confront Sana while filming a birthday V Live during their photoshoot, she takes it. The situation arises because for once, instead of simply ignoring Tzuyu, Sana seems to be actively upset with her.

Their fans, seemingly excited by the festivities of the day before, keep asking Tzuyu to return the favor by planting one on Mina or Chaeyoung. As she probably should, Chaeyoung suggests that they don’t acknowledge the comments, but Mina dives in headfirst, giving Tzuyu a pointed glance before impishly presenting her cheek for a kiss.

Though her smile is shy, the older girl’s eyes are flinty and trained on the corner of the room, where another Japanese girl leans against the wall with her arms folded and the shadow of a frown tugging at the corner of her lips.

Following Mina’s gaze to Sana, who quickly averts her eyes, Tzuyu nervously declines and attempts to change the subject, but Sana’s expression remains steely. Then, when Chaeyoung tells them it’s ‘Kiss Day’ and Mina again brazenly offers her cheek, Tzuyu sees Sana huff from the corner of her eye, throwing a glare at the three of them before storming out.

As Tzuyu watches her leave, she’s slightly dismayed, but, for the first time since Sana stopped talking to her, the Taiwanese girl is mostly just _angry_. After half a year of avoidance and rejection, Tzuyu is frustrated, distressed, confused, and more than anything, completely fed up with this distance between her and Sana.

So Tzuyu, usually so comfortable just observing, seeing how things play out from sidelines, decides that she’s had enough. She’s tired of watching and waiting, hoping things will get better.

It’s time to take action.

Once the photoshoot ends, they’re immediately herded into cars and sent back to the dorm, so Tzuyu has to wait, quietly simmering with irritation, until they get back to confront Sana.

Mina stays at her side the whole time, holding Tzuyu’s trembling hands in her own, and when they arrive at the dorm, it’s Mina who opens the door to her bedroom, where Sana has locked herself, and nudges Tzuyu inside.

Closing the door behind her, Tzuyu can just make out Sana’s slumped figure on her bed in the darkened room. Stepping around clothes scattered across the floor to sit gingerly at the edge of Sana’s bed, Tzuyu hesitantly reaches out to touch the other girl’s shoulder, her earlier vexation and confidence both quickly dissipating.

“Sana?”

The older girl’s head snaps up at the sound of Tzuyu’s voice.

“Tzuyu? What are you doing here?” she asks, jerking away from Tzuyu’s fingers.

Tzuyu frowns, returning her hand to her lap but keeping her stare leveled at Sana, who glances at the door like a cornered animal. “Is everything okay?” she asks softly.

“Yes, everything’s fine,” Sana brushes her off, standing abruptly and moving toward the door.

As she walks past, Tzuyu, feeling her heart sink, instinctively reaches out and grabs Sana’s wrist, stopping her before she can leave. Sana freezes but doesn’t turn around, and Tzuyu gazes forlornly at the older girl’s stiff back.

“Please talk to me,” she begs, tugging lightly on Sana’s arm. When the Japanese girl doesn’t respond, Tzuyu tries again, “Please don’t do this. Don’t leave again. Did I… Did I do something wrong?”

Back still turned, Sana just shakes her head.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Tzuyu presses, hating the tremor that creeps into her voice.

A wave of hopelessness washes through her and tears prick at her eyes as Sana wrenches her wrist from Tzuyu’s grasp.

“I’m not,” the older girl says flatly, again making her way toward the door.

This time, Tzuyu makes no move to stop her. Hands clenched into fists, nails digging crescents into her palms, she can only watch while Sana walks away from her, back straight.

Tzuyu doesn’t know what love feels like, but she’s pretty sure she recognizes heartbreak because she’s been feeling it for a while.

And now, as Sana reaches for the doorknob, something in Tzuyu’s chest shatters, and she lets the tears she’s been holding in for months fall, finally giving into the heartbreak that has been slowly, but persistently, clawing at her from the inside.

Head bowed and gaze directed at the floor as tears cascade down her cheeks, Tzuyu rises from the bed with her trembling fists at her sides.

It’s as if every time Sana ignored her, pushed her away, avoided her – every time she left Tzuyu bewildered and alone and hurting came crashing back down all at once, hitting Tzuyu like a punch to the gut and stealing the air from her lungs. 

The pain is almost unbearable, and just before Sana opens the door, the only words Tzuyu, utterly broken and voice cracking with bitterness, can muster are,

“I thought you said you’d always be here for me.”


	3. Collision

“I thought you said you’d always be here for me.”

Hand on the doorknob, Sana stills.

It’s the tone of Tzuyu’s voice, hollow and defeated and unfamiliar to Sana’s ears. Stoic by nature, Tzuyu doesn’t speak so much as she drawls; typically sarcasm is the most intonation anyone can get out of the inscrutable Taiwanese girl. So to hear Tzuyu’s voice flooded with such anguish, such fury – such raw, unrestrained emotion – is as foreign as it is heart-wrenching. 

It’s the quiet sniffles that punctuate the heavy, silent darkness of the room. Unlike the rest of them, Tzuyu virtually never cries, and the sound cleaves straight through Sana. It’s jarring and dissonant, like something is terribly wrong, like the balance of the universe has been violently skewed.

But most of all, it’s the words Tzuyu flings at Sana’s turned back, laden with accusation and disappointment, that make the older girl stop, frozen at the door. It’s hearing her own promise, twisted with hurt and thrown back in her face, that shoves Sana into the reality of the situation.

She fucked up.

She got so caught up in protecting Tzuyu, in keeping her own feelings in check and the other girl an arm’s length away, that Sana didn’t realize how much she was hurting Tzuyu in the process. All the times she pushed the younger girl away, she thought she was doing what was best for both of them, but now Sana wants to slap herself for causing Tzuyu so much pain.

Mina warned her, weeks ago, that this would happen.

Tzuyu had gone to talk to her, to ask why Sana had been avoiding her, and afterwards, Mina told Sana (in no uncertain terms) to stop being stupid. In Mina’s opinion, this had always been a bad plan, but the situation had gone from idiotic to catastrophic, and she couldn’t stand by and watch anymore.

_She’s hurting_ , Mina had said, thoroughly unamused, and advised Sana to give it a rest, but Sana had been too lost in the delusion that she was protecting Tzuyu to listen.

So Mina, quiet, smart, exasperated Mina, took a different approach to knocking some sense into Sana. Or at least, that’s what Sana figured because after their talk, Mina suddenly became really close with Tzuyu. Seemingly out of nowhere, the younger Japanese girl began making a point of providing Tzuyu with the comfort and affection that Sana used to – and so desperately still wanted to – give her.

And Mina is just too smart, Sana thinks, because at the same time that she was easing Tzuyu’s pain, Mina was also pushing Sana, testing her ability to tamp down her feelings for the younger girl.

Every time Mina cozied up to Tzuyu, she would give Sana this look, one filled with pity and blame that said unmistakably, _this could be you_. And every time, Sana’s face would flush with envy, with prickling, hot jealousy that she has no right to feel. And every time, Sana would choke the sensation down, struggling to maintain her composure, and remind herself that this is necessary, good, right.

But today, Mina finally pushed Sana to her breaking point, sending her flouncing out of the room with childish possessiveness gnawing at her stomach.

And Sana wishes she were stronger. She wishes that she were strong enough to just ignore her feelings, to just pretend she doesn’t love Tzuyu and act normally around her. She could’ve saved them both so much trouble.

Another muffled sob from Tzuyu pulls Sana back to her bedroom.

She whirls around, guilt crashing through her, and crosses the floor in three long strides to sweep Tzuyu into her arms. Sana can feel the Taiwanese girl’s chest heaving against hers, and she squeezes tighter, trying to absorb Tzuyu’s grief as she murmurs apologies into the taller girl’s neck.

Slowly, Tzuyu begins to calm down, her breathing gradually evening out, and after a moment, her arms come up to wrap tentatively around Sana’s waist.

It’s their first non publicity-related contact in months, and although Sana knows that she should pull away, that indulging in the giddy rush of holding Tzuyu in her arms will only worsen the pain of letting go, she allows herself a few more blissful seconds of being tangled up in the younger girl before pulling back.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, cupping Tzuyu’s face in her hands and wiping away the tear tracks glistening on her cheeks. “I never meant to hurt you.”

No doubt surprised by the sudden shift in Sana’s behavior, Tzuyu just stares back at her, confusion swirling behind long, dark lashes flecked with tears.

She deserves an explanation, Sana knows, and she can’t lie to Tzuyu (she has tried, on several occasions, never with any success), so after taking a deep breath to steady herself, she begins, “I always wanted to protect you.”

Tzuyu’s brow furrows slightly, and she opens her mouth as if to interject, but Sana cuts her off, “Let me just say this because if I don’t do it now, I don’t know if I ever will.”

Blinking perplexedly, Tzuyu simply nods, and Sana takes another shaky breath, glancing skittishly away at the corner of the room, before continuing.

“I always wanted to protect you, and at first, I thought it was only because you’re our baby and everyone was always so hard on you, but as time passed, I realized it was more than that. I didn’t just want to keep you from feeling bad; I wanted to see you happy. I wanted to see you smile, and I’d do anything to hear your laugh.

“And you were – you are,” Sana corrects quickly with a nervous laugh, “So good to me, Tzuyu. But even back in the beginning, when we didn’t know each other so well, you would take care of me when I was sick and hold my hand when I was scared. You always listened to me complain, even when it was about something dumb, and you would bring me food when I forgot to eat.”

Sana can’t look at Tzuyu, afraid her confidence will fail her, so her eyes drift downwards instead, to where Tzuyu has taken the older girl’s trembling hands in her own, as she confesses,

“You make me laugh, you calm me down, you’re patient and generous and kind – it was impossible _not_ to fall in love with you.”

Without pausing, Sana pushes on, the words pouring out in a rush, “I don’t know when or how it started, but one day, I just looked at you and knew. We were onstage finishing a song, and it’s part of the choreography so we do it every time, but that day when we knelt down, you smiled at me all big and genuine and happy, and I almost fell over right there on the stage.

“I remember thinking that I had never seen something so beautiful before. That smile… I felt like the floor dropped out from under me. It was like listening to a song you’ve heard before, one you already liked, but then you listen to it at the right time or in the right mood, and suddenly, it’s your new favorite song, and all you want to do is listen to that one song over and over again. Your smile was like that, and I knew I’d do whatever it took to keep you smiling.”

Sana’s reminiscent half-grin fades back into a frown as she continues, “But protecting you came first, before my feelings, before me. I knew that telling you, no matter how you felt, would only make things harder for you, so I didn’t.

“And I tried to stop loving you, Tzuyu, I really did.” At that, Sana lets out a bitter chuckle. “But there was no going back, so I tried to hide it instead. I thought that this was the one thing I could do for you.

“But it was _so hard_ , and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t act like my heart didn’t speed up when you looked at me, like I didn’t shiver when you said my name. I couldn’t be normal around you, not when I thought I might burst into flames if you touched me, and it hurt to keep trying to bury my feelings. It hurt to be around you, Tzu, so I pushed you away.”

It isn’t until Tzuyu unclasps their hands, reaching up to brush long fingers against Sana’s face, that Sana realizes she’s crying.

Swallowing, she lets out an unsteady exhale to gather herself before pressing on, “It was selfish and careless, and I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you, that I did the one thing I swore I’d never do and caused you so much pain, all while telling myself I was doing the right thing for both of us. Please forgive me, Tzuyu.”

For the first time since she started speaking, Sana dares to look up into Tzuyu’s eyes as the taller girl gently swipes her thumb across Sana’s cheek to catch another tear before it can fall.

It might be the darkness of the room, illuminated only by a fragment of yellow light slicing through the window, or maybe it’s the teardrops that blur Sana’s vision, rendering everything fuzzy and indistinct, but Tzuyu’s features look softer somehow, and more delicate.

And maybe she’s just caught up in the moment, but Sana swears Tzuyu has never been so lovely, so perfect, so heart-wrenchingly, achingly beautiful.

The younger girl’s expression is unreadable, but her eyes are warm, and her touch, feather-light on Sana’s cheekbone, is at once soothing and devastating, stirring feelings that Sana has struggled against for far too long.

“Do you still love me?” Tzuyu asks after a pause, startling the older girl.

Without missing a beat, she responds, “Yes. _Always_ , no matter how hard I tried to stop.”

Tzuyu pulls her hand back from Sana’s cheek, leaning down to gaze searchingly into Sana’s eyes. “Do you still want to protect me?”

“Yes.” Again, Sana’s response is immediate, reflexive, as she takes a small step away from the Taiwanese girl’s penetrating stare. “You deserve only good things, and I want to give that to you, when I can.”

A frown ghosts across Tzuyu’s features, and she draws herself up to stand tall. Quirking an eyebrow at Sana, Tzuyu folds her arms across her chest and steps closer.

“I’m not a child anymore, you know.”

Wiping away the last of her tears, Sana draws back to look at Tzuyu, to take the younger girl in. Yes, she’s taller and stronger than Sana; yes, she’s an adult now, both in age and in demeanor; and yes, she’s strikingly attractive in a way that is most certainly not childish by any standard.

But she’s still Tzuyu. And Sana is still Sana, and she’d still take a bullet for Tzuyu if that’s what it took to keep her safe.

“I know, but you’ll always be our _maknae_ ,” Sana sighs, running a hand through her hair. “I’ll stop avoiding you from now on because that’s not fair to you. And I know I can’t take any of it back, but I’ll keep it to myself, I promise.

“I’ll always protect you, Tzu. Even from myself. No matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts.”

Slowly uncrossing her arms, Tzuyu considers Sana for a moment, and the older girl can't help but squirm under the intensity of her scrutiny.

“What if…” Tzuyu begins, her voice, low and husky, sending a little thrill of electricity, unbidden, down Sana’s spine.

Something sharp flashes in the younger girl’s hooded eyes as she takes another step toward Sana, who tries to back away again, only to collide with the cool, unyielding surface of the door behind her. Too late, Sana realizes that Tzuyu has been cornering her, steadily backing her into the wall. 

Trapped and unreasonably aroused, Sana is too disoriented to do anything more than let out a startled squeak, her breath catching in her throat, as Tzuyu leans toward her, fixing her to the door with her dark, burning gaze.

“What if I don’t want to be protected?” she drawls, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth, before closing the distance between them to capture Sana’s lips with her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going to be too long, so I decided to split it up and make this a four-shot. Last chapter will have smut.


	4. Ecstasy

Tzuyu kisses Sana without hesitation, with resolve, with all of her, pinning the Japanese girl against the wall with her long body as she slants her mouth over Sana’s. Her lips are gentle but firm, and Sana, absolutely stunned, briefly wonders where Tzuyu learned to kiss like that.

Then she doesn’t have time to wonder (or think at all, really) because everything is just _Tzuyu, Tzuyu, Tzuyu_.

Tzuyu’s tongue swipes against her bottom lip, and Sana’s mind goes blank. Tzuyu grasps the back of her neck, pulling her impossibly closer, and Sana feels her knees give out beneath her. What Tzuyu lacks in experience, she makes up for in determination and sheer sexual magnetism, and it’s all Sana can do to simply kiss her back, clinging onto the taller girl in an effort to stay upright.

When Tzuyu catches Sana’s lower lip between her teeth and tugs playfully, all the blood drains from Sana’s head, rushing down to pool in her lower stomach.

Feeling suddenly faint, Sana has the vague thought that she might actually pass out, right here on the floor, so she surges forward, pushing them both off the door and further into the room. Still intertwined, the pair blindly stumble the few meters to Sana’s bed.

Tzuyu breaks their kiss to shove Sana, wide-eyed and panting, down onto the bed, again catching the older girl by surprise. She quickly strips off her t-shirt, gaze never leaving Sana, who barely has time to take in the flat, toned plane of Tzuyu’s stomach before the other girl is on her again, knees planted on either side of her hips.

And yeah, Sana thinks hazily, Tzuyu is decidedly _not_ a child anymore.

As Tzuyu trails open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, Sana groans softly and flattens her hands along the smooth expanse of the Taiwanese girl’s back, marveling at the lean muscle rippling below her fingertips. She feels Tzuyu smirk against her neck before sucking at her pulse point, making Sana moan and grip onto Tzuyu’s shoulders tightly, pulling the taller girl’s lithe, half-naked body flush against her own.

Through the fog of her lust, it occurs to Sana that they might be moving too fast, that Tzuyu never actually stated that she shares Sana’s feelings, or, worst of all, that she might just be doing this because she thinks it’s what Sana wants.

“H-hold on, Tzuyu-ah.”

With what little sense she has left, head spinning from the feeling of Tzuyu’s lips on her neck, Sana manages to push the younger girl back.

Tzuyu sits up and runs a hand through her hair, giving Sana a quizzical look with dark, dilated eyes, and for a moment, Sana forgets what she was going to say – forgets how to breathe altogether – and just stares, in complete awe, at the girl sitting astride her hips.

Because fuck if Tzuyu, chest heaving and lips swollen and tousled hair cascading down her shoulders as she gazes down at Sana like she wants to _eat_ her, isn’t just the sexiest thing Sana’s ever seen.

“Are you, I mean, is this… okay?” Sana asks shakily after a moment. When Tzuyu simply stares blankly back at her, face inscrutable, she stammers on, “I don’t know if this is what you wanted, but I don’t want to push you too far, and I don’t even know if you like me like that, and we can totally stop-”

Tzuyu cuts her off with a bruising kiss. A soft smile curling at the edge of her lips, she impatiently dives down to crash their mouths back together, and Sana takes that as a signal that the younger girl is just fine with what’s going on right now.

Breaking away for a second, Sana hastily pulls her own shirt off and flings it aside carelessly before reaching up to wrap her arms around Tzuyu’s long neck. The feeling of their bare skin pressed together, little sparks erupting at every point of contact, stokes the flames blazing in the pit of Sana’s stomach, and she unintentionally bucks her hips, seeking some kind of friction.

And despite having never done this before, Tzuyu is a fast learner, Sana discovers.

Observant and sensitive, she takes note of Sana’s body language and anticipates her needs, shifting to slide a leg between the older girl’s. Then she flexes her hips experimentally, rocking forward into the girl beneath her, and the resulting jolt of electricity makes Sana dizzy with arousal.

Wanting to reciprocate, to show Tzuyu just how much she missed her, Sana cants her hips up again, harder this time, and pushes at the taller girl’s shoulders, trying to flip them over.

But Tzuyu is not having it.

Grasping Sana’s wrists and pinning her arms down onto the bed, Tzuyu firmly shakes her head and grinds her toned thigh hard against Sana’s clothed center, causing the older girl to still and let out a needy whine, startled (and so, so turned on) by the unexpected display of dominance. 

Pulling away a centimeter, Tzuyu looks at Sana with such intensity and tenderness, with such earnest, undisguised desire that it actually, physically hurts, and Sana suddenly feels like she’s melting. Then, releasing one of the Japanese girl’s wrists to delicately trace her fingers along Sana’s cheekbone, the bridge of her nose, the curve of her jaw, Tzuyu murmurs,

“Let me take care of you for once.”

And how could Sana refuse a request like _that_?

So she drops her head back to the bed and gives herself up to Tzuyu, who dips down to leave soft kisses along the column of Sana’s neck, a satisfied little grin playing about her lips, before making her way lower, to the tops of Sana’s breasts.

Tzuyu leads with her hands, running exploratory fingers across Sana’s heated skin, quickly followed by gentle nips that make Sana gasp and dig her nails into the younger girl’s shoulders. When she arrives at Sana’s bra-clad breasts, she glances up, a silent question in her eyes, and Sana simply nods once, wantonly arching her chest up toward Tzuyu’s mouth.

Permission asked and received, Tzuyu lowers her head, tongue darting out to lick at the valley between Sana’s breasts as she reaches around to unclasp the older girl’s bra. She fumbles at the hooks for a moment before succeeding, and something about the way Sana can feel Tzuyu’s fingers tremble against her backbone has her beaming, overcome with warm affection for her sweet Tzuyu-ah.

But that affection is promptly superseded by burning desire when the younger girl dives down, without preamble, to take a dusky nipple into her mouth. Tzuyu’s tongue curls deliciously around the sensitive bud, and Sana moans out loud, bringing her hands up to tangle in raven locks.

Releasing Sana’s nipple and traveling sideways, Tzuyu plants searing kisses along the swell of Sana’s breasts and in the dip between them before latching onto her other nipple. Sucking lightly, she reaches up to softly, almost reverently, cup Sana’s other breast in her hand, massaging the supple flesh.

Then Tzuyu’s eyes glint dangerously, lips pulling back into a devilish smirk, and she grazes her teeth against Sana’s nipple. Simultaneously, she tweaks the other between her fingers harshly, not so hard as to cause actual pain, but hard enough to sting and make Sana hiss in surprise and pleasure, wetness pooling between her legs.

And really, Sana thinks Tzuyu’s going to give her whiplash if she carries on like this, alternating between heartbreaking delicacy and breathtaking force.

Because Tzuyu is gentle, watching Sana’s face the entire time, studying her reactions and adjusting accordingly. But at the same time, she’s assertive and unyielding, rough enough to make Sana feel desperately wanted as she lays claim to the Japanese girl’s body.

It sends Sana reeling, and all she can do is grip Tzuyu’s hair, waist, arms, anything to ground herself here, in this moment, where Tzuyu is trailing kisses down Sana’s naked chest, over her ribcage, across her quivering stomach, and _lower_.

Sitting back on her knees, Tzuyu drags Sana’s shorts off before bringing her lips to creamy skin, dropping soft kisses along the insides of the older girl’s legs as she makes her way back up to Sana’s center. Her pace is careful, deliberate, and tantalizingly slow – far too slow for Sana, who mewls helplessly and claws at Tzuyu’s shoulders, nearly breathless with need.

Getting the message, Tzuyu skims her hands up and slides her fingers into the waistband of Sana’s underwear, then pauses. She glances up, mouth forming a question, but Sana cuts her off with a low whine and a restless little jerk of her hips, and Tzuyu just chuckles, peeling off the impatient girl’s underwear and tossing it aside.

Sana lets her legs fall open, head tipping to the side to watch as Tzuyu settles between them and leans forward, drawing closer and closer to where Sana wants her. The feeling of the younger girl’s hot breath ghosting across her dripping core makes Sana shiver and lick her chapped lips in anticipation.

But at the last second, Tzuyu changes course to press her lips to the inside of Sana’s thigh, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Fucking tease.

Just as Sana’s about to tell the devilish girl to stop playing with her, to hurry up and eat her out or she’ll finish the job herself, Tzuyu bites sharply at the tender flesh of Sana’s inner thigh, and the sudden jolt of mingled pain and pleasure pulls a startled gasp from her mouth instead. Then Tzuyu is soft again, tongue darting out to soothe the delicate, sensitive skin while her fingers rub gentle circles into Sana’s hipbones.

Completely overwhelmed, Sana can only reach down to tangle her fingers in the other girl’s inky hair, tugging urgently as she brokenly whimpers,

“ _Please_.”

Tzuyu looks up at Sana – takes in her parted lips, her flushed cheeks, her pleading, desperate gaze – and relents, planting one last kiss to the inside of Sana’s left thigh before craning her neck down to consider the older girl’s soaked core.

Her eyes widen when she notices how wet Sana is, arousal practically trickling down onto the bed, but she stares with such open wonder, an awed smile playing about her lips, that Sana doesn’t even have time to be self-conscious about it. 

Then she trails a thumb lightly up Sana’s folds, her smile stretching into a broad grin at how the Japanese girl shudders when Tzuyu’s finger bumps against her throbbing clit. Pleased with the response, Tzuyu dips her head down to replace her thumb with her tongue, licking a broad stripe up Sana’s slit, and Sana can’t help the moan that tumbles from her lips, nor the way her grip tightens in the other girl’s hair.

Tzuyu is hesitant at first, her ministrations careful and shy, but she keeps her eyes trained on Sana’s face, paying close attention to which actions elicit the strongest reactions, what spots make the older girl gasp.

And again, she’s a fast learner.

When Tzuyu’s tongue flicks across her clit, Sana’s legs quiver; when Tzuyu hums against her center, Sana bites her lip so hard she nearly draws blood; when Tzuyu closes her lips around Sana’s clit and sucks gently, Sana stifles the urge to just throw her head back and submit to Tzuyu’s ministrations, dizzy with lust.

Instead, she forces herself to remain upright, propped up on her elbows. She refuses to tear her eyes from the divine sight of Tzuyu between her legs, her gaze attentive and scorching and brazenly meeting Sana’s own as she curls her tongue up against the older girl’s inner walls.

And fuck, Sana is so weak for this girl.

But who could blame her when Tzuyu is beautiful and gentle and hitting all the right spots that make Sana writhe with pleasure, toes curling and back arching off the bed.

Not to mention, for someone so taciturn, Tzuyu’s tongue is amazingly… _dexterous_ , and after a few moments, she has Sana panting, fighting to stay quiet because literally anyone could hear them through the thin walls of the dorm (and Sana just knows she’ll never live it down if Momo overhears her).

But then Tzuyu slips a long, slim finger inside Sana, meeting little resistance from the older girl’s slippery folds, and Sana no longer has the mental capacity to remain silent. The combination of Tzuyu’s mouth on her clit and finger sliding into her center throws Sana into sensory overload, and she promptly stops caring about being quiet, stops caring about anything other than Tzuyu and her talented mouth and her wonderfully lengthy fingers.

Though Tzuyu sets a leisurely pace, Sana finds herself on the edge embarrassingly quickly, her whole body taut as a bowstring. But right as she’s about to lose the battle against screaming out loud, Tzuyu swiftly makes her way back up Sana’s body to recapture her lips, swallowing the Japanese girl’s moans as she continues driving into her.

And once again, Sana is struck by Tzuyu’s uncanny ability to anticipate what she needs before she herself even realizes it.

Just as the thought that she craves _more_ crosses Sana’s mind, Tzuyu adds another finger, then another, stretching and filling Sana deliciously. When Sana feels so overcome by the flood of sensation she can barely breathe, Tzuyu pulls away from their kiss to study Sana’s face, slowing her thrusts until fluttering eyelids and hands gripping the back of her neck prompt her to speed up again.

And when Tzuyu curls those long fingers up, she hits, with nerve-fraying precision, something deep inside Sana that makes the Japanese girl’s vision go black for a second, and Sana arches up into Tzuyu, gasping incoherently into the younger girl’s collarbone.

She is so, so close.

With every stroke, every bite on Sana’s neck and brush against her clit, Tzuyu edges Sana further toward the precipice, pulling that invisible string within the older girl tighter and tighter.

But despite all that, the thing that does Sana in isn’t Tzuyu’s fingers plunging mercilessly into her, nor Tzuyu’s warm lips against her throat.

It’s when Tzuyu draws back to look at Sana, who, teetering on the brink of release, is suddenly a little _afraid_ to let go, to cross that border and succumb to the marvelous and terrifying storm she can feel waiting on the other side. Struggling to keep her eyes open, to hold Tzuyu’s penetrating stare, Sana finds herself fighting against her impending orgasm for fear that, should she give herself over to the torrent of pleasure, she might actually combust from the sheer force of it.

But Tzuyu, gazing down at Sana and seeing something strained and scared in her expression that makes the Taiwanese girl’s eyes soften, leans down to drop a gentle kiss at the corner of Sana’s mouth and murmurs,

“I’ve got you.”

And all at once, Sana is lost.

Tumbling over the edge as the string wound so tightly inside of her snaps, she nearly screams and ends up biting Tzuyu’s lip harder than she intends to in effort to stifle the moan. Spine curving upward and hips following, she claws at the younger girl’s back, trying to tell Tzuyu… to tell her _what_ , Sana doesn’t even know.

But of course, Tzuyu does, and again she dips down to pepper kisses all over Sana’s face, pressing their bodies together so that Sana can feel her lover’s heart beating in time with her own, as she brings the quivering girl down from her high. 

Once Sana’s grip on her shoulders loosens, Tzuyu plants a final kiss to the older girl’s sweat-damp forehead then flops down beside her with a contented sigh. 

They lie side by side on the bed for a moment, their quiet panting the only sound puncturing the silence while Sana, vision swimming and chest heaving, gives herself a few beats to regain her senses. She is so cozy, so happy and warm lying there, and part of her just wants to curl up into Tzuyu’s side, to burrow into her and drift off into soft, blissful slumber.

But a much larger, more compelling part of her wants to flip Tzuyu over and fuck her brains out.

It’s not really a choice at all, and soon, Sana is pushing herself up to sling a leg over Tzuyu’s waist, all too eager to repay the favor. Tzuyu makes a little noise of surprise, but when she lifts her hands to rest on Sana’s hips, her wide eyes are dark with lust.

Fixing the girl beneath her with a predatory stare, Sana leans down until their lips are brushing against each other, just barely touching.

“My turn,” she purrs against Tzuyu’s mouth, delighting in the shiver she feels run through the younger girl’s body, before capturing Tzuyu’s bottom lip between her teeth. Grasping the back of the other girl’s neck, Sana deepens the kiss and sits up slowly, pulling Tzuyu along with her until she’s seated in the taller girl’s lap.

This positioning, Sana finds, puts her at the perfect height to lavish attention on the delicate skin of Tzuyu’s throat, so she breaks their kiss to trails her lips first along the curve of Tzuyu’s jaw, then down the long, smooth column of her neck. On her way to Tzuyu’s collarbones, Sana hits a spot that makes the younger girl gasp, her hands shooting up to thread through the older girl’s locks.

Sana’s not sure what comes over her then, but the next thing she knows, she’s sucking at the hollow of Tzuyu’s throat _hard_ , causing her to hiss in surprise and tighten her hold on Sana’s hair. Undeterred, Sana continues to nip at the spot, only pulling back once she’s left an unmistakable, purplish-red mark on the Taiwanese girl’s tanned skin.

Tracing a finger over the bruise, Tzuyu shoots Sana an accusatory look through narrowed eyes. Hickeys are difficult to cover up, and the makeup team will definitely be curious about where it came from. Not to mention, the others will have an absolute field day when they see it.

Knowing this, Sana attempts to feign contrition, innocently batting her eyelashes at Tzuyu, but she can’t help the self-satisfied little smirk that spreads across her face at the sight of the younger girl’s bruised neck.

 _Mine_ , she thinks smugly, nudging Tzuyu’s finger aside to place a light kiss over the hickey. Tzuyu snorts in disapproval, but her annoyance fades into affectionate resignation as Sana nuzzles her nose apologetically against the underside of Tzuyu’s jaw.

“I love you too, you know,” Tzuyu suddenly blurts, her cheeks flushing attractively.

When Sana sits back to stare at her, eyes shining and mouth slightly agape, Tzuyu just shyly ducks her head, and Sana again feels tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

Her heart thudding against her ribcage, she grasps Tzuyu’s chin and tilts her face up so their lips can meet. She’s smiling too big for it to be much more than a messy collision of teeth, but Tzuyu doesn’t seem to mind, simply circling her arms around Sana’s waist and pulling her closer.

The subtle shifting of Tzuyu’s hips below hers reminds Sana of her earlier mission (to fuck Tzuyu’s brains out), so she skims her fingers down Tzuyu’s sides and back up the ridge of her spine. Reaching the latch of Tzuyu’s bra, Sana manages to unclasp and whip off the garment in one deft movement. Then, after a silent ‘thank you’ to whatever god allowed her to be smooth for once in her life, she gently pushes at Tzuyu’s shoulders until the Taiwanese girl’s shoulders meet the bed again.

Sana takes a second to just look at the girl gazing heatedly back up at her, pupils dilated and hair splayed behind her head, before leaning down to press her lips to Tzuyu’s soft, unblemished skin.

And Sana promises herself that later, she’ll take it slow, take her time. Later, she’ll explore every centimeter of Tzuyu’s flawless body like it’s a foreign land, mapping every dip and curve with her fingers and lips until the younger girl is trembling, breathless, _begging_.

But right now, Tzuyu is digging her nails into Sana’s shoulders with barely-contained urgency, her back arching off the bed, and Sana thinks that the girl certainly deserves a reward for what she did to Sana fifteen minutes ago.

And truthfully, Sana is just as desperate to give Tzuyu what she wants, to taste the younger girl and make her see stars, as Tzuyu is at the moment. So after a few quick bites to Tzuyu’s heaving chest (she has to tease the girl at least a little, right?), she slithers down to situate herself between Tzuyu’s long legs. 

Glancing up to meet those lovely, dusky eyes, Sana wastes no time in dragging off Tzuyu’s shorts, quickly followed by her underwear.

Tzuyu is beautifully wet, folds glistening in the darkness, and the sight makes a wicked grin spread across Sana’s face. Taking hold of the other girl’s knees, Sana spreads Tzuyu’s legs wider and brings her lips to nip at the sensitive skin of her inner thighs.

She can tell Tzuyu’s getting impatient by the way her hips twitch up restlessly, and Sana fucking loves the needy little sounds she’s making, her hands carding through Sana’s hair as the older girl trails open-mouthed kisses along the insides of her trembling thighs – it all makes Sana want to keep going, to see how many more of those desperate, breathy mewls she can draw from Tzuyu’s lips.

But at the same time, Sana kind of wants to make Tzuyu scream. So she dives in, swiping her tongue up Tzuyu’s dripping folds before sealing her lips around the younger girl’s clit and sucking gently.

Sana _feels_ Tzuyu moan, feels the vibrations under her tongue and fingertips, and when she looks back up to Tzuyu’s face, she’s treated to the sight of the Taiwanese girl biting her lip, eyelids hooded and jaw clenched.

And while she continues to lap at Tzuyu’s slit, Sana becomes increasingly convinced that the sexiest damn thing about all of this is Tzuyu’s expression; usually so impassive, the younger girl’s face is completely unguarded, her every emotion splashed across her features. There’s something so arresting, so inviting about the way Tzuyu looks, eyes dilated and cheeks suffused with lust, as Sana curls her tongue around her clit, laps at her inner walls, does whatever she can to paint pleasure on those perfect features.

Utterly awestruck, Sana just wants to watch Tzuyu fall apart underneath her, so, replacing her tongue with her fingers, she crawls up Tzuyu’s body to hover a few centimeters above her face.

When Sana slips a finger into her core, Tzuyu lets out a quiet whimper and fists the sheets beneath her, knuckles white. The strain of stifling anything louder is evident in the tightness of her features, the hard set of her jaw.

Sana wonders what it would take to make Tzuyu lose control.

She increases the pace of her thrusts, and Tzuyu gasps, releasing the sheets to clutch onto Sana’s shoulders. Sana smirks and adds another finger. Tzuyu arches off the bed.

Sana dips down to suck at Tzuyu’s neck, driving into her harder, and Tzuyu’s breathing becomes labored, a strangled groan pushing its way past her lips.

Pulling back again to meet Tzuyu’s unfocused gaze, Sana slides a third finger into the younger girl’s center, plunging into her mercilessly. Eyelids trembling, Tzuyu drags her nails down Sana’s back, and it’s actually quite painful, but Sana can't even begin to care when she can tell that Tzuyu is close – close enough that she’s moaning into Sana’s neck wantonly, her entire body a coiled spring.

Keeping her eyes locked on Tzuyu’s face, Sana commits to memory every stroke, every feeling, every expression that flickers across the Taiwanese girl’s delicate features. And when Tzuyu finally comes undone, sent over the edge by a particularly rough thrust coupled with the faintest brush of Sana’s thumb against her clit, Sana is entirely certain that there’s never been a more spectacular sight.

Lips parted, chest flushed, spine curving up and head thrown back, Tzuyu is breathtakingly, _devastatingly_ beautiful. Agonizingly so.

Sana feels so special, so incredulous, so unbelievably lucky that she’s the only person who has ever seen Tzuyu like this.

And if she has her way, it’ll stay like that, Sana thinks as she brings Tzuyu down from her orgasm with gentle fingers and a rain of soft kisses.

Once Tzuyu’s eyes flutter open, Sana draws back a little. Holding the younger girl’s gaze, Sana sucks her fingers into her mouth to clean them, one at a time, and is rewarded by Tzuyu’s wide-eyed stare, her blush deepening at the suggestive display.

Sana just giggles, dropping a quick kiss on the tip of Tzuyu’s nose before rolling off the flustered younger girl to collapse down onto the bed.

And out of everything that happens to Sana that night, best of all (okay maybe not _best_ , but pretty fucking great) is when Tzuyu, still slightly dazed and cheeks pink, wordlessly pulls Sana into her chest, tucking the older girl’s head under her chin and wrapping her arms around Sana’s shoulders.

It seems silly considering they just had sex, but Sana can count on one hand the number of times Tzuyu has asked her to cuddle, and the unusually tender action has her melting, heart stuttering as she snuggles into the crook of Tzuyu’s neck.

Her breathing deep and even, Tzuyu draws lazy patterns on Sana’s back. Her fingers leave a trail of goosebumps, and it takes Sana a moment to realize that Tzuyu’s actually writing, tracing characters on her skin.

_Sana._

_Tzuyu._

_Us._

Chest tightening, Sana looks up to find Tzuyu gazing back down at her. The shadow of a question clouds the younger girl’s eyes, and Sana reaches up to cup her face, thumb stroking Tzuyu’s cheek fondly.

“Was that… okay?” Tzuyu asks haltingly. She seems shy, almost embarrassed, and Sana feels that familiar protective urge swell inside her, this time mingled with the staggering love she has for this precious girl.

Leaning up, Sana captures Tzuyu’s lips in a gentle kiss before pulling away to murmur, “It was perfect. You’re perfect.”

Tzuyu smiles, her dimple showing, and Sana has to suppress a squeal at how absolutely fucking adorable she is.

Returning her head to Tzuyu’s chest, Sana sighs in contentment. She can hear the steady rhythm of Tzuyu’s heart, thumping in time with her own, and she knows that they’re back in sync now. The thought fills her with a sense of calm.

“Tzuyu-ah, does this mean what I think it does?” Sana asks after a pause.

“It can mean whatever you want it to mean,” Tzuyu chuckles. Then, quieter, she adds, “I’m just happy to have you back.”

Sana’s heart clenches, and she squeezes the younger girl tighter. Closing her eyes, she whispers, “I’m happy to have you back too.”

She was so dumb for so long. She pushed down her feelings, pushed Tzuyu away, and she caused them both so much pain.

But not anymore. Now that Sana has Tzuyu, she’s not letting go again.

Sana will always want to protect Tzuyu. She’ll always want to make Tzuyu happy and see her smile.

But the world is big, and Sana is small, too small to shield Tzuyu from everything life throws at her. As much as Sana wants to defend Tzuyu from every attack, big or small, she just can’t.

Instead, Sana will protect Tzuyu’s heart. She’ll carry it with her, hold it close and keep it safe. Sana will guard Tzuyu’s heart with her life, making sure it’s always cared for and that no harm comes to it. She’ll love it, nurture it, treat it well, and nurse its aches.

Because at the end of the day, Sana would do just about anything to protect Tzuyu.

And this?

Well, this is all she really can do.


End file.
